Do Parents with Mental and Emotional Issues Have Rights?

WARNING: What follows will have the tendency to anger the reader and may induce a strong desire to become politically active to combat governmental abuse of families.

Do parents with developmental disabilities, or emotional problems, or psychiatric disorders have the right to have and raise children? More, do we as a society have the duty to provide supports, wherever necessary, to help parents with these conditions be successful? Based on the following true story, the answer from the New Jersey Department of Youth and Family Services is a resounding  NO!

I recently became acquainted with a young couple through my place of worship. Though I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and have worked with families my entire career, there was nothing I could do but provide support as a member of the congregation; because the process had already gone too far.

Mrs. A had been brought up by parents, though loving, were micro managers and thus provided an atmosphere of "dysfunction" from which Mrs. A had developed strong tendencies toward depression and  bipolar symptoms. She met her husband and married. She became pregnant and the couple was happy with the anticipation of a new addition to their family. 

Mr. A has a developmental disability called Asperger Syndrome, a type of autistic disorder where the person is quite functional but often appears socially odd; missing social ques. Often, these individuals are quite intelligent, as is the case of Mr. A. They hold jobs, get college educations, own homes...


Mrs. A is followed by a psychiatrist and is treated with medication successfully. Previously, she was seeing a psychotherapist, in her town, who recommended that she think about putting the baby up for adoption because it would be a difficult road raising the child. The couple had decided to keep the child and did take the advice of their former counselor (she had passed away) but, at the urging of the therapist they called the New Jersey Department of Youth and Family services, DYFS to ask for HELP!.  This is where the events become unbelievable!


As soon as Mrs. A delivered, DYFS placed the child in foster care! Never did they offer preventive services, supports such as: respite, parenting training, homemaker services; as is the routine with most families these types of agencies come into contact with. The mission of children services agencies is to keep families together, and if placement is necessary, to make all attempts to reunify the family. Since the child was born a few weeks early, they pressed "neglect" charges against Mr. A because he had not yet purchased all the equipment and supplies needed for a baby. Reality is that he had obtained much of what was needed but had not yet put them in the apartment, figuring he had a few weeks, and his wife and new born were in the hospital early. How can one neglect a child before it is born? 

A family was chosen from a town over an hour away from the couple, who wanted to adopt the child right away. According to the father's attorney, this town has a group of influential parents with fertility problems that seem to be able to get adoptive children from DYFS quite regularly. It is not known if this family was part of this group. But, it makes you wonder. 


Mrs. A became depressed, postpartum, and her depression increased as she saw her child leave the hospital, in the care of another couple who had intentions of keeping her daughter. DYFS pointed toward the depression as evidence, though it was their actions that pushed this young mother, already struggling with depression deeper into an abyss. 


The foster family had kept the child for 2 years with the young couple visiting weekly. Professionals from both sides, DYFS, and parents, did agree that there was not enough visitation. After 2 years of living and breathing this issue, the mother felt she no longer had the internal strength to fight the case. Her husband supported his wife, though he would have fought more. DYFS used this as evidence of the couple's inability to parent. What must be understood, is that the DYFS workers go home and do not think about this family or the little girl. To them its a job. The parents, who are dealing from a deficit position with emotional problems of their own, were exhausted. They eventually signed their parental rights away. 


One of the questions that the mother asked which brought on a bout of nausea in me was "will they ever allow us to have children?' I have worked with a tremendous amount of families in my 30 years as a professional, in much worse circumstances than the A's, and have been able to keep the families together with the proper supports in place and they became wonderful families raising wonderful children. It is clear, that DYFS, which is being observed by the federal government, due to colossal deficiencies in its services, misused its powers and committed tremendous injustices in this case: And how many others?


My response to Mrs. A's question was: "Have you ever thought of moving out of New Jersey?"  So, again, I ask: do parents with mental and emotional issues have the right to raise children? Not in the State of New Jersey.