It was inevitable, your baby is growing up and now they want to work. They claim they can balance a job, school, family and friends. On the other side, you may be asking them, or demanding that they get a part time job due to their need for personal spending money. As a responsible parent you want to give them advice about the world of work, and mostly, they really don’t want it. So what do you do?
Start with a sit down talk, even if they really don’t think they need it. Tell them this is more for you than it is for them and you would feel better if you could discuss a few things. Asking questions will generally be accepted much more than you telling them what to do. So instead of saying, “you can work no more than 16 hours a week” approaching with a question such as “how many hours a week can you work and still have time for school and a social life?” will get better results. It is a known fact, that when the concept comes from your teen, it will more likely come to fruition than if it is dictated from you.
It is possible that your “child” may answer the question of how many hours a week they wish to work with a higher number than you were thinking. Instead of saying that is too high; ask them to explain how this will work in reality for them. You have now entered into the world of compromise and negotiation versus dictating, (which will surely meet with resistance).
Brainstorming is a technique where all ideas, good or bad are listed. Brainstorming where they will work may also be a somewhat contentious. Where should a Jewish teen work? If the job is to be only for the summer, than seasonal positions come to mind: Summer Camp Counselor; Life Guard, Babysitting… However, if the need is to work even during the school year, the possibilities change. Sometimes your teen may already know where they want to work: where their friends work.
The most popular and easiest places to find work in heavily populated Jewish communities are the local kosher restaurants. This sounds like a terrific idea initially, and for many teens, it works well. There are a few areas you will need to guide your teen through. Since restaurants generally have a thin profit margin, the managers and owners look for teens to work because they have some flexibility, can work nights and weekends, and they pay them less. There are practices that you need to look out for and warn your child about.
Kosher restaurants are quietly notorious about having teens work for a period of time, sometimes weeks, in a training mode for which they do not pay the “trainee.” It brings a whole new meaning to the concept of “free training!” It is illegal both Jewishly as well as secularly to have anyone work for you and not get paid. According to Rabbi Tzvi Spitz,in his sefer: Cases in Monetary Halachah, “any person who hires someone to do a job for him, and fails to pay the worker- down to the last penny- after the work is complete, transgresses the said prohibition against stealing (and, under certain circumstances, another three prohibitions and one positive commandment – See Bava Metzia 111a.” Though your teen may be ok with this, since they badly want a job, it is irresponsible and potentially damaging to set such a precedent with your child, for they may grow up to employ others and expect similar sacrifices from their employees. Another problem arises: What if your son or daughter is injured on the job during this “training period?” They should be covered by Worker’s Compensation, but are they if they are not “officially employed?” I have checked with the New Jersey Department of Labor, and this nonpaid “training period” is illegal. Employers may hire at a different rate for people in training, as long as they meet the state minimum wage level for that position.
Another pitfall for you to guide your child around is the restaurant salary positions: Sometimes given to kitchen help versus waiters. If your child, when they are not in school is offered a salary position, have them keep track of their hours. If they do not have supervisory duties, they may be entitled to overtime when they work more than 40 hours a week. For more information, speak to your Rabbi and consult with your State’s Department of Labor.
Your teen’s first work experiences should be positive. It will be the building block / foundation for future employment experiences as well as a milestone in their ethical development. An employer that treats their employees fairly and with respect will help guide your teen in a much different direction than one that abuses employee rights. It is your job to guide your child through this maze of issues to help ensure that they have the best possible experience as they enter the world of work.
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